small compromises
The judgement that became my boomerang..
I AM PREGNANT and I am not married yet and this blog will make much more sense if you read the other one first :) Otherwise it will sound like a very long defensive post and that’s not what this is—it’s a teachable moment inviting you into the raw spaces of my story.
One day, I was casually scrolling on social media when I came across a post from a very prominent leader. They were announcing the birth of their child. I was happy for them… but I also judged them. Ugh.
This was a preacher who had a fat platform that I had followed for years—someone unmarried, yet now announcing they had a baby.
And in that moment, I questioned:
“How could someone so on fire for God… end up with a whole baby out of wedlock?”
I know it seems a bit contradictory considering I have a baby out of wedlock but once I got saved I realized that God is a God of ORDER and I am also aware that SEX IS A WONDERFUL GIFT FROM GOD when it's inside the marriage bed. The consequences of sexual sin bring about soul ties, grieves the Holy Spirit, and opens the doors to other areas that could be impact us mentally, spiritually, and within your soul.
Carrying on, I remember the moment I saw that persons post and I said to myself,
“I will never be like that.”
I was so afraid to have a platform where I am leading people but to not have integrity behind the scenes. I had a 'I am above that' kind of heart posture. It was pride.
And God has a way of humbling the proud :-)
The judgement I threw against this person became a boomerang effect and a few months later, the very thing I said I’d never do….I did.
After years of walking in purity,
I slipped into a sexual sin.
It was right after a four-day fast, too and I had just come from a powerful tent revival, where someone walked up to me, looked me in the eyes and said:
“You will not eat the forbidden fruit. You will have enduring strength to wait.”
I laughed in my heart and thought to myself:
“Me? I’m good. I’ve been delivered from that. No way I’m going back.”
But then it happened. I fell into sexual sin.
I repented immediately and I was so broken for months over it. I got off social media for half the year and I ran to trusted leaders to confess everything because I knew the power of exposing my sin-when you expose your sin it has no power over you. I depended on two close friends to keep me accountable during that time and I ran to my quiet place with God consistently.
God told me that He LOVED my contrite heart. He loved that I ran TO HIM and not FROM HIM. He loved my great need for HIM. But one day, I heard God say:
“The sin didn’t start with him. It started with small compromises along the way.”
And so many downloads were received when I realized sin begins with the environments we are in and the conditions of our heart.
I was not out here clubbing or entertaining environments that looked pleasurable but not purposeful. And it's not that I had a wicked heart. But I was in environments where I was very rejected.
And that unhealed rejection? It eventually grew a need.
Not just for affection, but for intimacy.
I had small compromises that led me to see that this wasn’t a lust issue (on top of seducing spirits in the environment which is a whole other story) but it was a worthiness issue.
Too often in the church, we think sexual sin is only a lust issue but most times, there's layers and spirits at work to hinder you.
Some of you may be reading this and you may be thinking sexual sin is not that deep and you may even be turned off from wanting a relationship with God, but when you know His heart.....it's easy to understand why He requests us to live a life of boundaries. You see his LOVE behind everything.
This is not to glorify sexual sin, but there is so much I am learning through this that I want to share transparently with you...without hiding in shame or being afraid of what people will think. I've been dwelling on things that don't need to be dwelled on and it's time to get up and carry on.
The baby is A GIFT and I am so excited + grateful.
Here’s to having a baby with my soon to be husband and the same man that I had a baby with 10 years ago.
The same one that was my Judas for 6 years and the same one that has changed radically in the last year.
Redemption is surely being written in our story. I am so grateful that we get to do this thing again, but this time is so different– BECAUSE GOD IS AT THE CENTER. I’ll share more on our story soon.
I want to leave you with this:
People may change their view of you, but God never changes His love for you. Shame thrives in the fear of people’s opinions, but healing begins when we choose to see ourselves through the eyes of the Father. He was never surprised by your decisions—He already had restoration in mind. Your identity isn’t tied to what happened, but who God says you are
The judgment you cast today can become tomorrow’s test. Stay humble. What looks like "discernment" can sometimes be pride in disguise. Many times, the very thing we judge in others becomes a mirror for our own hearts. God doesn’t expose us to shame us—but to shape us. Let grace lead the way, for others and yourself.
Hidden compromises grow into visible consequences—but God redeems every root. Sin doesn't begin with the act—it began with subtle compromises, unhealed rejection, and unmet needs. Sin isn't always about what we see on the surface but normally about a root within—it’s often about loneliness, longing, or lies we believe about ourselves. But God meets us there. He heals deeply, and He restores beautifully. He also increases our authority to contend against the spiritual aspect of it all, too.
Purity isn’t perfection. It’s a heart surrendered.
It’s not just abstaining from sex—it’s saying yes to healing, yes to holiness, and yes to the kind of intimacy that starts with Jesus. Let God purify the parts of you no one sees, so that you can fully behold Him. When you behold Him, you become whole again. And as for redemption? You’re never too far gone. God is still writing your story, and He’s not done turning ashes into beauty.
Much love,
Jordyn
